Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Night time bullshit

Night times are the worst, I slow down, I think too much, I get anxious. I try to distract myself, write, watch TV, cook, crochet, video games. Not helping.

Ugghh

Caz

Monday, 27 May 2013

Meat

My name is Carrie and sometimes I feel like nothing more than a piece of fucking meat.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Updates and Strategies

Well last time I wrote I wasn't going so great. I have two counselling sessions since then and I feel less confused, less generally bad but I think I still have a long way to go. Therapy has helped me make a little more sense of everything I am feeling but I still feel lost. Like I have lost my sense of self. So I have started a little exercise to try help me find myself again.

Every day I have been writing down something that I know is true about myself. Something that I know is me and something that has nothing to do with other people. I've only been doing it for a few days but here is what I have got so far...

My name is Carrie and I like cats, but I am pretty sure I am allergic to them.

My name is Carrie and I think plums are great.

My name is Carrie and I fucking love thunder and lightning storms.

That last one was from tonight, I was driving home from hoops and there was a big lightning and thunder storm. The lightning was so bright, it was like daylight again when it flashed. It reminds me of 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' when Charlie talks about feeling infinite. That is what storms make me feel like. 

I get six free counselling sessions through Relationships Australia so I'm going to be going weekly for a while. 

Hope I figure it out soon.

Love Carrie xo




Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Baby I got a plan




I thought about running today, I dropped off my friend Izzy at her house then decided I didn't want to go home so I just drove. Didn't make it far. Turned around at Galway Green.

Psych appointment booked for Thursday.

I'm going to get through this.

Love Carrie xo