Sunday, 8 March 2015

Breakthroughs and Setbacks

Hey world! So the last couple of time I posted on here things didn't seem to be going so great for me mental health wise. That is just how it goes sometimes, fluctuating highs and lows which makes me feel like i'm on some kind of roller coaster of emotions and it's frustrating but that is the nature of the beast. However at my last appointment with my Clinical Psychologist I feel like I had a little bit of a breakthrough in understanding how my brain is working at the moment. We spent the session talking about thoughts and challenging the thoughts I have when I'm feeling low. Recognising whether the thought is fact or a distortion (guess what? They are almost always distortions) and then reframing those distorted thoughts into something more real and factual. 

I think the one that hit me the most is when we were talking about a particular recurring thought relating to trust.
I can never trust anyone
Obvious distortion right? We reframed it.
There are people in my life already whom I can trust. New people who come into my life need to earn that trust through their actions.
Much better now hey? This led into a discussion about boundaries. Something I discovered I struggle with. We used an onion analogy because although parfait is delicious and also has layers, i'm no parfait. Ha! Anyway, I'm in the middle ring, the next ring out is my family and best friends, then the next layer is extended family and friends, followed by a layer of acquaintances, workmates then on the last layer is new people. New people start outside the onion and need to work their way in through all those other layers before they can get to that inner circle and they don't get inner circle privileges of love and trust till they get there. Most importantly, not everyone needs to be in that circle. Some people just sit comfortably on those outer layers because thats where they fit in my life and that is fine. 

These two concepts, the reframing of thoughts and the boundary onion just resonate with me so well, they've already started making a huge difference and I think they will continue to do so into the future. 

Whats the verdict on how I'm feeling now? Mentally, much better so far and I'm feeling more positive  going forwards about how I can tackle the challenges that face me. It's a nice place to be in, I know that life will continue to be an adventure and it will have it's ups and downs but mentally and emotionally I think the roller coaster is going to stop having such sudden dips and climbs for no reason. I'm feeling good. 

Love love Carrie xoxo